Kai Recover

My story with the name Kai is dedicated to Kai Vorberg. Kai was the leader of our JRG Cologne vaulting team and also my competition when it came to individuals.

In 1997, he and I tried to qualify for the European Championship in Aachen. I made it with our horse Bernstein into the German team, but Kai did not. It was a political disaster because we were coached by his mother Brunhilde Vorberg. Before the competition, I got all the important uniforms from the German Equip. Two weeks before the European Championship, I had an appendix Operation and two weeks after I broke my shoulder blade. This is why I could not compete at the Championship. Kai became my replacement and had to come to my house

to pick up the uniforms. Before he came, I took a camera and took a picture from all the uniforms to make sure that I had them at least for a while.

Giving these clothes away was sad, and I had my first depression after it. After 2 weeks, I was competing in the German Championships with the team. The recovering process was not long enough, and I still struggle with chronic pain and imbalance because of the total decompensation of my body's right side where the appendix operation happened. Did you know that an appendix operation means that you don't feel welcome in this world? In 2000, I stopped vaulting and studied dance in cologne. In 2006, I was in the middle of my education and felt terrible. One morning I was going out of the house and there was this huge picture of Kai on the cover of the Bild Magazin. He had won the World Championship in Aachen and was wearing a costume which looked like on the picture. Since Kai was a very dominant character, this kind of pain happened to a lot of us. After a while, he even kicked his mother out of the stable and became the head coach of cologne. Now he is the head coach of Germany and works at the Olympic equestrian base at Warendorf. Since I had an amazing time with Kai as a team captain, I forgive him. The team always meant much more to me than the individual sport. One of my first gay friends name was also called Kai and I had met him on a phone sex line for gays. I told him about my struggles with the other Kai. One time he came to vaulting competition in Rhede. Since we only showed pictures to each other, he thought I was Kai and Kai was me. He started to talk bad about Kai's performance, which was me. It was terrible confusing and very in "the closet" drama. What is your experience with a lost to a competition and the name Kai?